Self Love!

At every point of life we love ourselves. Everyone actually loves only themselves. If someone says that they love someone else more than themselves, then it’s a very big lie. When we talk about husband and wife relation, there also, each of them loves one another just for their own happiness, both mentally and physically. Parents love their kids as they become happy if they see their kids are happy. Students love teachers when they have gained enormous knowledge from them, that way if you closely observe any kind of love in this world you can see that self love would be the main motive behind any acts of love. That way everyone loves to be pampered and cared by the ones they love. I am not calling it Selfishness; it’s rather to be called self-love-ness.

I think most of the youth today; have come across such an incidence at least once in their life. Someone shows too much of involvement in you. They may say I miss you, even if they dint talk to you for 2 days. They may keep on saying I love you / I like you and all such flattering words. But because of some small reasons this love may stop all of a sudden, it can be because both of them are busy, or may be because one of them got busy. Is this true love? No its not, they actually love themselves. One of my best friends told me that I am keeping in touch with her these days frequently as I am all alone here and is not that busy with life. I gave a thought on it. And found out that there was some truth in it. I admit my mistake and am apologising for that. But then inside me also I found the waves of self-love-ness.

How can anyone get rid of this self-love-ness? Or can anyone ever do it? At least has anyone done it?

These are some facts of human life, which cannot be changed so easily. Being a normal human being I can’t comment on when a human can get rid of SELF LOVE!

Love without expectation

It was on his 5th Birthday that ; his dad bought him a cute li’l puppy as his birthday gift. The puppy was so cute and lovable. Within few days the puppy and him became very good friends. They played all day and slept on the same bed. But one fine day the puppy fell sick and died within in a few days. Very Sad isn't it? Unfortunately within few days he also fell ill. His Mom and Dad took him to the hospital nearby. And the sickness was diagnosed to be Rabies. The puppy had scratched him while playing and then they came to know the reason for the puppy’s death. The doctor informed the parents that the kid won’t live beyond 72 hours. His Mom and Dad were so depressed on hearing that bad news. The doctor advised them to keep the kid in the Intensive care unit as there were chances that for the boy could react to the infection, which will spread the infection to the bystanders. But the loving parents wanted him to leave them with full of happiness. They took him to a five star hotel. And the kid passed away in the hotel in his Mom’s lap, within the time informed by the doctor.

I went to his house on the second day after his funeral. I saw the Uncle and Aunt,  both were looking very tired. Uncle was sitting on a chair in the visitor’s room and Aunt was sleeping unconscious in the bedroom. Very few lights were turned on in the house. We can make out from their faces that they didn't have anything since the last 2 days. I could see a plate of dried rice which was kept on the floor just below the dining chair, which I suppose was the last lunch from home which the kid‘d had. Uncle looked very nervous; he was biting his teeth and moving his fingers continuously as if he was thinking deeply. What all must have gone through his mind. "Why did I gift him that puppy? Why is God so harsh with me?  Who will be there for me in my old days? I wanted him to be a Doctor but now what will I do? He was so kind to all beings but why was God not kind to him? I wish I got him back, so for that I am ready to sacrifice everything. Can You God? I want him back! Can you give him back to me God?” I could hear the loud voice from his inner mind as a complaint or may be a request to get back his son; He was a bit angry to God for his fate. But he was deeply thinking staring at a point.




Talking about aunty. I am pretty sure; Half of her life must have gone along with that boy. She had all the memories of the kid from the day he was in her womb. In fact she was living with him. He liked his Mom telling stories at night, before sleep. She must have been crying loud inside, even though she was asleep. She must have been thinking “My dear son is alone travelling , into the hands of almighty. He needs me beside him for him to sleep. Who will be there to wake him up in the morning? Who will feed him better than how I fed him? He will cry if he don't see me around. I wish I could also join him in his journey. I don’t want to send him alone. He is my sweet heart. God please send your best angels with him….”






Dad was trying to bring his son back to life, which he knew was impossible. He couldn’t just accept the fact that his son was no more. But Mom believed he is going to God, she believes that he is still alive in a far away world. Dad had more dreams and expectations about his son from the day he is born. But Mom wanted him to grow the way he wanted and supported him in all his wishes. Dad loved him more than his life, but Mom couldn't live without him. It’s easy to say “Love without expectation” but practically it is impossible for a normal human being.

The Interview-"I like Painting and drawing”

It was in the second last semester of my engineering,the time when Big Companies come to recruit from Campus. In Kerala we had a recruitment agency,which mainly dealt with engineering recruitment. They call different big shot companies every week end and conduct interviews, which would be attended by almost all the eligible engineering students in Kerala(5k + students). Most of us used to go for those interviews just for meeting up our old school friends who were spread out in the different parts of Kerala for doing their B-Tech

L&T was the first company for which I could clear the written test and extempore to reach the technical interview. I was an average student. First day of the interview session ended up finishing the written test and extempore.On the Second day, I was called for technical Interview early in the morning at hotel Abad plaza in Cochin. I reached Cochin railway station at 6am with my best friend, who is still and always my strength. I had a bath at the station restroom, wore the interview -special Shirt and Trouser (formal dress) which indeed was my first formal dress, as because those days my dressing sense was worst than a klutz .
 
I was called for the tech-interview . Inside the room was a senior man. "Good morning Anoop, how are you?" he said in a pleasant and cheerful voice.  I was quite nervous, I wanted to show myself  cool, which I could not, so I said "I am a bit tensed". Interviewer, understanding my comfort level, started with some personal questions, like where I lived, about my family, my strength, my weakness , which I expected in an HR interview. Then he asked about the projects which I did, Which I could explain better. Then comes the most awaiting difficult part- the technical questions. I proved the night before, that in a single night one can finish READING C-Programming by Balaguruswami. I made my self strong in C, C++, Java, UML and Microprocessors, but did not touch DBMS.


Surprisingly the first question asked was "Anoop, could u please explain me what's DBMS ? " I was like gone~~~.....I thought I would be benched! ....I replied with a lame smile "Data base management System"...  Then he said "Very Good Anoop I was not asking you to tell me the full form, well anyways you can explain it to me by differentiating it with RDBMS..."  I had no clue.... When I dint know how to explain DBMS how will I compare it with RDBMS????? During my Engineering DBMS was one of the worst classes which my class mates and I used to attend. Miss X used to teach us DBMS so badly(I am sorry Miss X). She used to come to the class everyday dipped herself in coconut oil,wearing a lot of ornaments and laughs at her own poor jokes ha ha ha (which the whole class used to listen with high tolerance). Then she starts with the same scenario, Bank account DBMS with the same branches PTA, ADR, KTR, KLM, which were her virtual banks, the short forms for the neighboring towns from our college. It really was too boring. Those days  PTA, ADR, KTR, KLM were like nightmares for us. This is the reason why I hated DBMS.


Coming back to the interview, I really was at the end of the rope, and still I don’t know why I replied “I like Painting and drawing”, knew I was goofing up, but luckily things went fine.I succeeded in deviating his brain from DBMS to Engineering Graphics by hearing drawing.... Then he drew something like, as show in below and asked me to express my views on this diagram in an engineering point of view. My answer had gone off the deep end.



I replied ... " It can be :

The plan of a Cylinder kept on the top of a square prism
or a plan of a Sphere kept on the top of a square prism
or a plan of a Frustum kept on the top of a square prism
or a plan of a Hemisphere kept on the top of a square prism
or a plan of a Cylindrical hole drilled on the center of a  square prism
or a plan of a Hemispherical hole drilled on the center of a  square prism"

Finally I said "the same can be applied for a Cube if its replaced by the Square prism.": He offered me water after this statement... I could see a positive vibes on his face.

He said "Anoop, you can wait outside for the HR interview!!!" YaaY.... Finally on Aug 15th 2005 I got the confirmation of my Job appointment with L&T.

THANK GOD IT’s WEDNESDAY

THANK GOD IT’s WEDNESDAY

Well Wednesday in the Middle East is like Friday in the rest of the world. Yeah it’s the weekend Thursday and Friday. Well Living in KSA there is no chance for Party / Pub or anything, but can do some shopping and have good food from some nice restaurants. I was waiting for 4:30 pm (Office closing time) to inaugurate the weekend by going to “Al Batha”. It’s a place in Riyadh where different foreign markets are there. Like Indian , Kerala, Philipino, Pakistani, Bangladeshi etc.

Oops!! Did I say India and Kerala separately??? Oh yeah, I did!!! It’s because, most Saudi’s think that India is the country where people speak Hindi, and Kerala is another country where people speak Malayalam. Most of the malayali people here don’t know Hindi, which the arabs expect from an Indian to speak. Malayali population in the middle east i think is more than its population in India (exaggeration). Alas! it was 4:30, Imran was waiting with the car outside my office. Imran , a Hyderabad chap ,Office pick up-cab driver, who also accompanies me in the local conveyance too. In Batha I could see most of the boards of shops and advertisement in 3 languages Arabic, English and Malayalam. In Kerala, I’ve not seen many shops with Malayalam boarding.

Being new in town, Imran keeps giving me advices. I was told by many people, before I reached here in Riyadh, that life will be so boring and strict. And many told to be careful as the rules here, are Sharia ( Šarīʿa; "way" or "path") refers to the "way" Muslims should live or the "path" they must follow. Sharia is derived from the sacred text of Islam (the Qur'an), and Traditions (Hadith) gathered from the life of the Islamic Prophet,Muhammad. And it is having very strict punishments too. As a matter of fact it is strict but what I feel is that it’s for the better living of the people here.

They fear and care about the security of ladies and that’s the main reason behind why this strictness came into being.

Imran told, this place is really different from the entire world, and Riyadh being the capital, is the most conservative place in Saudi Arabia. KSA is ruled by the King of Saudi Arabia, and the different ministries are again handled by different Princes, who are brothers and relatives of the King.

Indian Prime Minister with Saudi King

The Mutaween and the people

There are 2 different polices in KSA, the normal police and the religious Police called Mutaween/Mutwas. Mutaween’s duty is to maintain the religious beliefs among the people. Years back there was even a rule that each Saudi Citizen is eligible for some amount of money every month from the Kingdom. This made the people more Rich but Lazy too. The main areas where Westerners work in Saudi Arabia are defence, healthcare, and the oil industry. IT, telecommunications and banking are other areas that employ substantial numbers of Americans and Europeans. Saudis are more than happy to pay large sums of money to have others do their work for them. There has been in the last several years an attempt at “Saudization”, turning jobs traditionally done by outsiders over to Saudis to reduce the reliance on foreign labor, but there are a number of jobs that either require skills they do not have or are types of work that the affluent Saudis simply will not do.

Most of the menial and physical labor is done by Asian people such as Indians, Pakistanis, Bangladeshi and Philippinos. The more technical work is done by Europeans and Americans, although the huge salaries and almost unlimited benefits of the 70’s and 80’s have been greatly reduced. Still, it can be quite lucrative to work for a few years in the kingdom.

This weakness of Saudi’s were utilized by all the other nations who wanted to make money from the Kingdom .But the King recently took a wise decision to stop the money given to each citizens every month. This is not because the Kingdom didn’t have money, instead the King wanted his people to work and earn money. Because as money was coming to the family for free they never had an urgency to get education and find a job, and they lived their lives lazily.

Holy Namaz

Islamic law also dictates 5 prayer times a day; before sunrise, noon, mid-afternoon, just after sunset and night. In most Middle Eastern countries when the mullahs give the prayer call from the many minarets dotting the cities, the faithful go to the mosque and perform their ritual prayers and then return to work or whatever they were doing at the time of prayer call. Businesses continue to operate, and life goes on as usual.

In Saudi, however, when prayer time comes, the entire economy comes to a screeching halt! Stores close, restaurants shut their doors, and things come to a complete stop until the prayers are over, what to say more; so called 24x7 support customer care service too. Considering this happens 5 times a day, you can imagine how much of a hassle that becomes! Every non Saudi I knew carried a prayer schedule with them at all times; you planned any day out in the public or downtown around the prayer schedules.

If you were in a restaurant or grocery store and prayer time was called, you were able to be locked in and continue to eat or gather groceries into your cart. The lights would be dimmed, but you were able to go about your business. If you went to eat at night though you always carried a candle so you could see your food when the lights went out during prayers!

Women

Life for women in KSA is very safe but restricted. All Women are supposed to wear ” Abaya” or Burkha whenever they are out of their home. Be it any lady, from any faith or any nation; they are strictly imposed to wear it outside. On my way to KSA I found non Saudi Women, wearing it inside the flight itself before landing in Riyadh. From the Airport itself women are bound to follow the Saudi rules.

Women not being allowed to drive, wearing the abaya at all times, forbidding all alcohol and virtually all other Western “vices”. Cigarettes were about the only vice allowed in the kingdom. There are no theater, no public bowling alleys, no bars or nightclubs and definitely no churches/temples! Some hotels had private bowling alleys, and some larger compounds had a small theater for movie viewing. All restaurants have two sections; a single males section and a family section. Women downtown by themselves or with other women had to sit in the family section; otherwise they could be arrested for “prostitution”.

That’s how the Kingdom is... in a brief ! More to explore.....

India to Riyadh… a long journey

India to Riyadh… a long journey

To Dubai

11th march 2010. My maiden journey to the Kingdom of Saudi Arabia. Mom and Dad came to see me off at Thiruvananthapuram (tvm) International Airport. It was an Emirates flight which had a halt at Dubai. The flight took off from tvm at 11 am. A worker who was going to Dubai was sitting next to me. He was around 30-35 years of age and could neither speak nor understand English. He was very excited to be in the flight. Apparently, someone had told him free liquor would be served in the flight. He asked me (in malayalam) whether we should call the crew and ask for liquor or not? He was worried if he didn’t ask they won’t serve him liquor. I said,”just wait, they will come and ask us”. Finally a crew member came and asked him,”Sir, Do you wish to have alcoholic or non alcoholic beverage?” our poor guy didn’t understand what he was asked so he pointed to the first juice on the crew’s beverage trolley. Unfortunately it turned out to be tomato juice. I asked for Grape Wine, but he gave me a small bottle of red wine. My neighbour was surprised at this and now wanted beer. He wanted me to call the crew to order for him a beer and to ask them to take away the tomato juice which he was given. The journey was 4.5 hours long. During this time my neighbour had emptied 6 cans of Beer. He tried to order an extra Chicken Biriyani too but it was denied. We said Adiós to each other at Dubai Airport.

To Riyadh.

The next flight to Riyadh from Dubai was after 6 hours. I was very excited to see Dubai Airport. It’s very beautiful and have lots of things to see around. As soon as I reached there I enquired with the Airport Authority the boarding gate for my flight to Riyadh. As soon as I had asked the question, a group of middle aged malayali uncles surrounded me and said it’s gate 230. All of them were going to Riyadh and were on the same flight. One of them gave a very valuable piece of information. Since we were Emirates fliers, we can have FREE lunch from Emirates Restaurant located above Burger King in the Airport Duty-Free mall.

All the transit gates, shops and hotels were located 2 levels above the Arrival Gate. We started moving and one elderly person among these uncles struck up a conversation with me. He was 56 years old. He started asking all the routine questions expected from a stranger. Like where I am from, what I do, where I am going, where I will stay, my salary and all. He told he is running a small grocery shop in a place called Olaya in Riyadh.

He spoke about his family too. He earns a below average salary in Riyadh and stays with 5 others in a single room. He visits India once in 2 or 3 years. He got his daughter married and was now going back. I could see a dad’s happiness or rather an achievement in his face for giving his daughter a good life. His son completed his MBA from Kollam district in Kerala and was now searching for a job. We spent some time in the mall and rushed to Gate 230 when the boarding call for Riyadh was announced. I could see a lot of Philipino ladies and Pakistani men in a big Queue. The uncle who accompanied me explained that these Philipino girls are going as house maids to the Arab houses and Pakistanis are normally taxi drivers and low grade workers in Riyadh.

Finally at 6:40 pm we took off from Dubai to Riyadh. I was told beforehand about the harsh behaviours of the Airport authority in Riyadh. As soon as I landed I was surrounded by the same crowd of uncles whom I met at Dubai Airport. I was happy to know that they were waiting for me. But there was a hidden agenda behind all this waiting. None of them knew English and wanted me to fill their immigration form. I filled up 5 forms including mine. Sigh!. These uncles had heard me speaking in English to the Airport Authority at Dubai and thus laid the trap for me.

After filling up the form came the most boring and humiliating phase of the whole journey. Passengers for immigration were told to stand in separate queues. One queue for Indians, one for Philipinos, one for Pakistanies and one for mixed {Europeans, Americans, Arabs}. The mixed queue was cleared very fast. People in all the other queues waited till those mixed queue guys got out of the airport. Pakistanies and Indian workers who looked poor were beaten and shoved around. In fact, they were treated like dogs. I felt pity for these people. I decided to wait in the Indian queue with my poor fellow Indians. I could have chosen to join the diplomat’s queue which was merged with the mixed queue as my Visa was a Government Invitation Visa but I thought I should get to know firsthand what my brothers are suffering.

Finally, 3 long hours after our flight landed, I got my passport back with the Entry seal stamped. When I came to the baggage collection belt, I saw my two Suitcases thrown on the floor. They were waiting for me sadly, unattended. Atlast, I came out of the airport and walked into Riyadh. The Adventure Begins…